LAFF Interviews #5 and #6: Holly Lorka and Hampton Suede (of Girl Embassy World Team)

Holly Lorka is a stand-up returning to the LAFF stage for a third go-round. She is a regular performer at the Cap City Comedy Club here in Austin. I always think of her as wearing a Western-style shirt, even though I’ve seen her wear other types of ensembles as well.

Hampton Suede is the world-renowned English talent scout and manager of Girl Embassy World Team, a dance troupe dedicated to the empowerment of girls ages 11-14. Hampton’s work has been greatly admired on every continent except Greenland, which is not a continent. He is rumored to have dated Paula Abdul in the early ’90s.

Honestly, the only reason I’m running these interviews together is because they both gave really short answers. They have absolutely nothing in common otherwise. Absolutely zippo nothing nada zilch-o. Except that their names both start with H, but only if you ignore those FBI reports that Hampton Suede is actually an American named Curtis Luciani, which I don’t believe for a second. Stupid FBI.

HOLLY:

LAFF: You’re an Austin local. Where should the out-of-town ladies shop if they want a cool, slightly hip western look like the one you’re rocking in this video of you I’m watching right now?

New Brohemia. It’s a men’s store on South 1st. I wear man clothes. This confuses my mother.

LAFF: What’s the best thing about Austin’s comedy community?

It’s very welcoming and easy to make friends who will send you funny and inappropriate text messages that are insulting.

LAFF: You have a bit about being a nurse and having patients come into the ER with interesting items lodged in their asses. What is the best advice you can offer our putting-things-in-their-asses public about avoiding embarrassment the next time a trip to the hospital is in order?

Go shopping for a nice dildo. We don’t laugh when those come in. That’s just plain bad luck.

Holly Lorka performs Thursday, May 5 at 8pm.

HAMPTON: (no photo of Hampton due to UK copyright laws)

LAFF: Mr Suede, you were officially the first male performer in LAFF last year. What was it like for you as a red-blooded European male to be surrounded by so many talented women?

It’s a great honor and, incidentally, not one I am unaccustomed to. I spent a lovely summer in Japan doing press agency for The Runaways. Image aside, they were very sweet girls, even though Lita [Ford] got herself roaring drunk on sake one enchanted evening and shoved a guitar pick halfway down my left ear canal. Still don’t have the best hearing on that side. Incidentally, while we’re on the subject, don’t believe a word you’ve heard about Kim Fowley. Sweet guy, real mensch.

LAFF: Girl Embassy World Team endeavors to spread a positive message to girls everywhere. But there has to be an evil side to all of this, right?

Not at all! We practice what we preach. Clean living, clean thinking. Now, notwithstanding, the life of professional touring pop performer/entertainers is a tough business, and it has its dirty side. But the girls always come out with their spirits intact, as far as I know, and I do maintain a very close watch.

LAFF: What is your official position on women?

Unabashedly pro, my dear. One of my top two favorite genders.

Girl Embassy World Team’s empowering dance message will be delivered Friday, May 6 at 8pm.

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